Talk me down. I have my quit date set at 2/15/09. But the closer it gets, the closer I come to flipping out entirely. Technically, I can knit and I’m happy to just knit and purl at random – I can’t actually make anything, but I just need for my hands to be busy so it’s good.
But, the closer I come to NO cigarettes, the closer I come to shrieking and never stopping. I want to quit. I really think this IS my date do quit, but it’s scary (those of you who have never smoked need not respond to the scary part – it’s as crazy as it sounds, but it’s real) . . . Just tell me I can do this. I can, right? I have done lots of things that “look” way harder on paper. This is just one more thing.
I have our BIG calendar marked with a bunch of stars on 2/15. The boys were asking what the stars meant. I told them that life as they knew it was going to change. I think that was fair warning, right? It’s a little early to explain foster care to them, right?
Other news, I got to visit with my friend, Kate, yesterday. It’s been forever since I’ve seen her and yesterday was dreary and rainy and cold and just the best day to visit. The boys always have a great time and I love how the older boys have always included Andy. Kate and I had a chance to catch up a bit while Kate fed the masses. LOL She even fed me and I’m so sorry I didn’t have seconds. The boys got chicken nuggets and hash browns, delicious in their own right. BUT … Kate and I had homemade clam chowder … wahhh … I want more. It was perfectly buttery, potatoe-y and delicious.
Leaving Kate’s we opted to invade my parents house. Sure, they’d only been home less than 24 hours. But we were all so happy to see my parents and I think they were happy too. And, dammit, if Bud (the goldfish) hadn’t totally perked up!Talk about a fish crying wolf! We visited long enough to eat most of what was in their house and then we moved on to tae kwon do. I might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure my mom and dad sent Bud, the goldfish, out to pick up take out for dinner.
I’m onto you, Bud! (can you see my angry eyes?)