And you thought the Burger King commercials were scary?

Andy and I were up relatively early and finished school up early. The older boys – ehh…not so much. The beauty of having older kids, though, is that their need to sleep in is really not my problem these days. They know what they have to do and they don’t need me sitting on them to get it done. If nothing else, teenagers VALUE their weekends.

So, with dinner on the stove, brownies out of the oven and Andy’s school done, we headed out into “the world.” It’s only been two weeks since Dan got his driver’s license. Strangely, it’s only been about two weeks since I left my house. I had a TON of errands to run. Andy and I hit the road with our current book-on-tape, The Thief Lord. While Jim Dale reading the Harry Potter books will ALWAYS be my very favorite, the audio version of the The Thief Lord is my number two pick. I have listened to this book at least twice with the older boys and I”m enjoying as much again this time with Andy.

We hit the library, Old Time Pottery (I needed a new pretty container for our compost stuff), Home Depot (stuff to clean up the butcher block counters), the grocery store, the thrift store (just because we were in that part of town), the book store (b-day gift for party tomorrow and just to browse – remind me to rant about lack of biographies for kids – I mean biographies of people other than Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers – gah!), the office supply store and finally, the post office. Andy was looking a little pasty after all of this when it hit me I’d not given him lunch. Ooops.

We hit the drive-thru at Burger King. I got my onion ring fix, Andy got a HUGE lunch. We pulled through to the “pay” window and ****shudder****gasp****shudder THIS is what happened. This evil bird landed right on the hood of my car. The car windows were OPEN!!!! Open as in that bird was just biding his time before he swooped in and pecked our eyes out. God bless electric windows – they go up pretty fast in times of crisis.

The girl at the payment window was staring at me. She was waiting for me to pay her so she could give us our bags of delicious friend goodness. I tried pantomiming (you know it’s not going to end well when you are practicing your mime skills at a BK drive-thru) my fear of the bird and my concern about opening the window. The girl just glared at me. I did glance in my rear view mirror. Who knew so many people need BK at 3:12 pm on a Friday? According to my brief unofficial survey – a LOT!

Finally, I cracked my window and shouted (I’m so not a shouter – more of a loud squeaker – but we’ll save my cheerleader-dream-traumas for another post) about the bird and how it was going to kill us. Bless her heart, the BK girl did a full-body stretch to grasp the money I was dangling out of the window. She shouted into the car, “It’s ok, ma’am! He’s here all the time. He just wants some fries.” Before I could even scream and shriek, she tossed a handful of fries onto the hood of my car. Can you say “Waahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!”

Poor Andy. He took the picture for me. He was torn between mocking me (which he would have done more courageously had his brothers been with us) and being kind of freaked out himself. Well, we spent WAY too much time at the window. Finally, I had to suck it up and open the window to get our food. Go ahead, flip me a fish. This is the bravest thing I’ve done in a long time. As we eased out of the drive-thru lane, the bird just sat there defiantly on the hood. And he sat there and glared right at me until we were on the verge of jumping onto the highway. Finally, the damn thing flew away – back to the hood of the next person in line LOL.

I’m just happy to be here typing this – eyes intact and no bird embedded into my head. I know no one believes me, but they’re out to get us!

8 thoughts on “And you thought the Burger King commercials were scary?

  1. OMG!! This is so funny! We’re just used to smallish birds out here – nothing that could fly off with a small dog. I’m glad you made it out of the drive through with all your fingers and eyeballs!

  2. No, I believe you. I think I may have just driven around, ditched the bird and walked in to pick up my order. You know, from the other side of the building. *shudder*you are so brave. I’ll flip you a big ol’ fish!

  3. I totally agree with you about the birds. Back when I was in college my friends and I were at the beach. When we pulled out our lunch we were literally dive-bombed by a bunch of seagulls. Yikes! I still don’t like to each at the beach.

  4. Mom2legomaniacs – this is why I plan to start carrying knitting needles around with me at all times.Kaaren – it was the 17-92/Longwood BK, right across from the new Lowe’s. I will NEVER go back. Lisa, Sabrina, Dy, Joy and Rhonda, you’ll all fit in the Suburban – next time I head out, you’re all coming with me! Bring your cameras and safety googles.

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