Two? Piece of cake!!!


I’m kidding. Danny and Ian are camping this weekend. A neighbor stopped by this evening and the first thing she said was “Your house is sooo clean. And quiet.” Truth be told, I spent most of today eating chips and salsa and playing Scrabble online. I did not sweep the floors. I did not do one load of laundry. I did nothing remotely productive (unless you count quality time spent with my <a href="http://www.asseenontvguys.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=377"target=&quot;
_blank”>Ped Egg – and if you do not own a Ped Egg and you have feet, you need to get yourself to the drug store and get a Ped Egg. If you read here at all, you know I’m a pretty low maintenance kind of person. The Ped Egg is something that goes into our evacuation kit – hurricane, flood, terrorism, whatever. My feet will be scale-free when the aliens beam me up to their ship. Seriously, you need a Ped Egg.) But, I digress.

In case you’re confused, let’s recap. I did nothing today except shave my feet. (OK, you might be grossed out at this sentence, but I’m totally cracking myself up here.) NOTHING. And yet, my neighbor complimented me on the state of my house. Now she’s a regular neighbor – she sees my house in all kinds of conditions. From her this was a high compliment. How, you ask, is this possible?

For me, the answer is to get rid of half of my kids. Poof. The remaining kids are hyper-aware of the fact that I’ll know for sure who just showered and left all that mess in the bathroom. They know I’ll know who ate what for lunch and left the mess all over the counter. Again, poof. They straighten their butts right up. And, I promise – last time, POOF! My house stays clean. It’s really kind of remarkable.

This is not to say that if you have two kids, your house should be clean. The key is getting rid of one half of your children. I’m not sure what to recommend to those of you with an odd number of kids, but you’re a creative bunch.

This evening, after my long day of rest, I waited until Andy went to bed and then made some yogurt and granola. I’m including a picture of the granola because it’s delicious and I want to remember this batch. Tim was putt-putt golfing until nearly 11 pm. He came home, finished up a bunch of leftovers and went to bed. Now, I’m sitting in the clean house and putting off going to bed. Tomorrow the rest of the boys come home and with them a ton of dirty, nasty laundry and my floors will once again be sand-covered and my bathrooms disgusting. :::sigh:::: Maybe I’ll invite my neighbor over for breakfast so the clean house thing will be cemented in her mind?

4 thoughts on “Two? Piece of cake!!!

  1. “For me, the answer is to get rid of half of my kids.”

    You’re not kidding! I have just enjoyed two of the BEST evenings I’ve had in a decade. And I only got rid of 2/5 of my kids. And the husband. I think that may have helped – it’s <>like half<>. Right?

    The kitchen? I used it, cleaned it, went back to make another meal, and Presto – POOF – it was STILL CLEAN! *swoon* So happy.

    I should’ve had somebody over, so I’d have a witness, too.

    I think I’m going to like Scouts a lot more than I thought I would…

  2. OK folks, Dy is brilliant! If you had an odd number of kids, you must lose the husband too.

    If you happen to have a bunch of boys, Boy Scouts (when they’re older), not Cub Scouts, is your solution. They pack themselves, they feed themselves and they leave on a regular basis.

    Dy, next time you find yourself in this situation, let me know. I’ll drive up and take pictures and let everyone know how clean and shiny you are!

  3. No matter how many kids are around, I can never seem to keep all the rooms clean AT THE SAME TIME. If the kitchen is in good shape, the bathrooms are ready for a HazMat crew. If the bathrooms are decent, the living room is trashed… Another strange phenomenon is, I can’t seem to keep enough food in the house AND keep the laundry done at the same time. If we have clean clothes, there’s no milk…

    I guess I just need to be two people and then I could keep up…

  4. Ian thinks I am crazy! Reading this had me cracking up. He asked, what is so funny? I said “Amy got rid of half her kids, and magically her house stays clean”.

    He said, Oh, good then she can take 2 of our. So what 2 would you like?

    My house is a DISASTER area. Why do we seem to need so much junk to live? ha,ha!

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