I haven’t been sleeping very well. That leaves a lot of free time for thinking and worrying and, you know, thinking. Last night, I was thinking (as Mike breathed really loudly and slept very soundly) and started thinking about some of my recent posts and thought maybe I should clarify some things. Or not. But, sleeping isn’t looking that great tonight, so I thought I’d go ahead and type out my thoughts. You know, my blog and all of that.
One, with the older boys, Mike and I are following the same pattern we did when the boys were little and trying to follow our gut feelings. We’re new to the whole older teenager thing, as are most of our friends with kids this age. We certainly don’t know all (or any) of the answers and I never mean to presume here that we do. We are trying to take the course we think is in the best interest of the boys. Maybe it will payoff and maybe it won’t. In the meantime, I write here to keep a record of sorts for myself. I also write about our experiences with the boys to maybe help someone else in the middle of these years or someone who is coming up on those years. It’s not a handbook – just our experiences. I welcome your comments whether you agree or disagree.
Two, with Andy. Andy is a brand new experience in being parents for us. In many ways, he’s an only child. He’s too young to participate in many of the things his older brothers do, but he’s part of their lives simply because he lives here. He has his own friends (he’s very, very lucky in this department) and his own interests. Summer camps are definitely pricey for us. Really, I just kind of rule them out because in the past I’ve always had to consider three tuitions. Lazy thinking on my part.
But, Andy is tough. He usually shrugs my suggestions off when I bring up summer activities. I know he’s envying his buddies who are attending summer camps right now. However, I showed him a few camps (this past spring) for the summer and he wanted nothing to do with them. He was not just NOT interested, he was intensely NOT interested. He’s a kid torn between two worlds, I guess. he doesn’t want to miss out on anything the older boys might do (beach, springs, etc) AND he doesn’t want to miss out on anything his friends might be doing (various camps, etc). Hence, my “UGH” statement. It wasn’t an “Ugh” about anything other than having a child that makes me crazy.
Anyway, when I can’t sleep for nights on end, I worry about stuff and I worry about how people will take things. It’s crazy, really. Since I’ve moved to “Blogger” I haven’t tracked who’s reading here at all. I’m “kind of” curious, but not enough to do anything about it. In so many ways, it doesn’t matter. I love that so many people read this blog and that so many people have become friends through this blog. But, ultimately, this is a record of our(mostly my) life during however long I keep this blog. With a few blips, I have never purposely used this site to target people or say mean things or suggest mean things. And I’ve never sat here typing with the intent to be mean or to suggest that our way is the only way to do things.
And, enough people read here actually KNOW me. I think they know this to be true. I hope you all know that to be true. I hope I’ve clarified things if you had questions. If not, leave a comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.