Who is the person that is a step beyond the Dog Whisperer?

Please send that person to my house.

Scout is old. She’s almost 12. But, she’s an awesome, smart dog. Usually I only have to look at her or simply tell her what I want her to do and she does it. I’m a seriously spoiled dog-mom. I have taken her for granted since the day I house-trained her – yes, that’s right, THE DAY. That’s all it took. Honestly, no one has ever had a smarter, prettier dog – EVER.

But, she’s turning into the pretty old lady rocking on the front porch. We built a new bigger cage for Jenny and Esme yesterday. They needed more room to run and be fat and whatever it is that they do. The bigger cage sits on the floor rather than on the old trunk I had them sitting on before.

The grid-thingies (sorry to get technical) surrounding the new cage are 18-24″ high. The pigs are in (forgive me) hog heaven with their new space. Scout, however, is sorely confused. It’s not like we have kept her from the pigs, but something about them being on the floor and hopping around freaked Scout out. She stood at the cage whining, tail wagging frantically and whining some more.

I can’t read dog minds, but I think Scout thinks the pigs are puppies. We had a wild night here. Scout was pacing and frantic, the pigs were curled up fast-asleep in their little igloo. I finally got up this morning when Scout started barking in my ear – this is weird, Scout is NOT a barker. She led me to the pig cage. Ummm… yes, Scout, there are the pigs. She spent the morning pacing up and down.

Tim and Andy were up shortly after me. I went to take a shower and immediately heard Tim and Andy howling and screaming and laughing. I went back out to see what was going on. Scout had picked Jenny up (a la cat mom picking up a kitten) and taken her to a corner and had her in the corner, licking her and taking care of her. Weird, huh?

I tried the shower thing again. This time, as I stepped out of the shower, I heard all FOUR boys screaming and laughing! I rushed out to see what was going on and there was Scout, who apparently defied gravity and leapt into the new pig cage. She had settled into the cage and trapped the pigs in her paws and was grooming them.

And, so went the day. Scout is currently passed out cold with no signs of waking soon. I’m hoping she’ll get used to this new set up. Funny, though, Tim and a friend came in this afternoon to tell me about a neighbor whose dog is about to have puppies in six weeks. I paused to consider it. I asked about the dog. English Mastiff. Ummmm . . . NOT happening here.

Cross your fingers that Scout settles down a bit tomorrow!

5 thoughts on “Who is the person that is a step beyond the Dog Whisperer?

  1. Oh my GOD! Why is there no video?!? Popcorning pigs? Broody senile dog? Hello?

    And dude, you TOTALLY need an English Mastiff. They're nearly inert. You'd never know it was there. Except for the fact that about 100 sq ft of your living space will be missing.

  2. Yep, Deana's right. You totally need a Mastiff. It'd be like having your very own Max !! : ) He's super calm, but we fight over couch space & he has his own twin bed in our room.

  3. Nonsense, they take up less room than a jack russell b/c they are never under foot. geeeettt iiiiiittttt….. Think of the novel fodder you'd have next year!

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