If I could turn back time . . .

I wouldn’t.  But … sheesh, will ya look at Cher?  She’s 20 years older than me and that is a picture of her at some awards thing a few days ago.  Honestly? I wouldn’t mind a flatter stomach or a perkier butt, but am I willing to move my belly button up 10″ to achieve those things?  Nope.  I’ve been in a melancholy, mopey mood lately but, money aside, nothing as bad as that.  I wonder what her life is like when she’s just home puttering around with no one to look at her (Cher that is).  I hope she’s happy and okay with wearing something more comfortable than this get-up when she’s at home.  It would suck to work that hard everyday on just how you look.

Mopey and melancholy are fairly accurate descriptions of my mood lately.  Nothing huge, I just cannot seem to find a focus or an interest lately.  It’s weird and strange for me.  For the first time in about seven years, we actually had to BUY soap.  Gross industrial soap.  I just can’t seem to decide whether I want to keep making soap – and, it’s one of those things, if I’m going to make it, I’m going to make too much so I might as well sell it too.  

It’s kind of the same with everything lately.  I know it won’t last, but I hate feeling so stuck. For now I’m working on school with Andy, not killing the older boys (anyone else’s kids eating a bowl of “Color Me Stoopid” every morning lately?) and reassuring Mike that I’m truly sane (ish).  

Looking forward, I’m getting excited about this year’s NaNoWriMo event in November.  Ian has asked for his usual Christmas gift – attending the Magic Conference in Daytona Beach.  The conference is held the first weekend in November.  This year, however, it looks like it will be just me and Ian going.  Yep.  Ian off doing his magic thing 12 hours a day, break for dinner and more at night and me ALONE in a hotel room with no laundry, no meals, no cleaning and a laptop (hopefully – otherwise, I”ll have a legal notepad and a bunch of pens).  So, with each day that passes, I get excited about that.  The rest (inspiration, passion, something) will come back to me in some form or another, right?  

In the meantime, I have plenty to keep me busy.  

I’ll post pictures tomorrow of the Egyptian boat Andy and I spent hours and hours building yesterday.  Thumbs up and down on the project.  It looked cool.  It looked extra cool when we added our Leonardo Davinci action figure to the helm.  Not quite so cool when it sank to the bottom of the tub.  Our engineering skills aren’t quite there yet.  

More random stuff . . . went to the Friends of the Library bookstore this afternoon and picked up a few bundles of old magazines.  I don’t know why, but I LOVE old magazines.  I love the ads, the text-heavy pages, the funky pictures.  I figure I have a few weeks of fun for $1.50.  The lady who rang up our purchases commented “You ladies with your magazines and your recipes and your cooking all the time . . .”  I just smiled.  Andy chimed in that “Oh she mostly reads about the cooking, my mom doesn’t really make any of that stuff.”  Nice, huh?  And I have no idea who was in ahead of me to give the nice volunteer lady such an attitude.

It’s late.  I’m going to bed.  Hate to leave you all behind … but I’ll be back.  (Sorry, I wanted to work that picture in somehow!)


3 thoughts on “If I could turn back time . . .

  1. I've been buying commercial soap, too. Gross.

    For some reason this is my restless time of year as well. What is my purpose on this planet? Was my purpose to have my two kids and raise them? Well now what? Kids raised and I still feel directionless. Eh, it's my Fall thing.

  2. I can relate to the fall thing and feeling like there's ten gazillion things to do. Your brain tries to think about all of them at once. Not good! I'm sure your time away with Ian will be a perfect “recharge” time! Hang in there Amy!

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