Vanity, Insanity and Humanity

Let’s start with vanity.  I’ve never been a high maintenance kind of gal.  Mostly, I’m lazy. I don’t particularly enjoy getting older, but it’s not been a horrific journey thus far.  Every now and then I read or see or hear something that sticks in my craw and I cannot let it go.  
A couple of weeks ago, I was visiting with my neighbors and one mentioned that her son told her she had a mustache.  Umm … nope.  She doesn’t.  Not even a little bit.  But we all started talking about the “stray” 8″ hairs we suddenly find growing out of our chins.  We also talked about hairy people we had met in our lives and on and on – funny what wine will make you talk about.  
For some reason I could not get this conversation out of my head.  I’m blonde, always have been even if my old-lady hair is light-brown with gray highlights.  But, I started noticing a bit of hair on my upper lip.  Honestly, I don’t know when it appeared or if had always been there.  No one has ever mentioned it to me and until the above conversation I’d never given it a thought.  But, I started studying magazine pictures (you know, because magazines give you a look at life how it truly is) and no one in magazines has any facial hair.  NONE.  Still, I just wondered about it.
Yesterday I got a wild hair (get it?) and bought something called Sally Hansen’s Facial Hair Remover.  I waited until everyone was asleep and I brushed it lavishly on the skin over my lips and then under my lips, for good measure dontcha know.  I awoke this morning to Charo lips!  The whole area around my lips was so puffy and bright.  Crazy.  Sure, there was not a hair to be found but what a price to pay.  I could see our librarian checking my new look out this afternoon and not in a good way.  Send prayers for healing and an end to my stupidity.  You think I would learn, but I never do.  
Insanity.  Ah, so much to talk about here, where do we begin?  Lately the insanity has been over who gets the car and who needs to be where. I had a stellar “mom moment” this afternoon when I thought I had the car all to myself and Dan called to remind me that he had a Physics class this evening.  I didn’t have grand plans – I wanted to hit the grocery store, get gas and maybe stop by the fabric store.  Instead, I burst into tears and told Dan I’d be home in time.  Of course, Dan had no clue what my problem was but he was nice about it anyway.  Tomorrow, Ian and I leave for the magic convention in Daytona.  Ian will be fully occupied all day for 2 1/2 days.  I’ll have a car and a laptop and no one else … I’ll get my fix of freedom there.  
Humanity.  Last Friday, Ian, Tim, Andy and I went to the zoo.  We did this because we had my mom’s car (she and my dad were visiting my sister and her family) and we let Andy pick our activity.  To think the place that used to engage Ian and Tim for hours on end before we’d even reached reptile land is such a different place with two 16-year-olds and a 10-year-old is astounding to me.  Still, we had a great time.  
You know how when you go to places like a zoo or a theme park and you find yourself with the same group of people over and over?  We kept running into evil-mom-with-a-stroller-and-a-three-year-old.  In the reptile house, the 3-yr-old ran up to the gecko display and said “Mom, it’s a chameleon!!!”  He was so excited and I was kind of impressed he knew chameleon.  The mom did not even look at him and said “Are you KIDDING me?  That’s a gecko.”  The little boy just shrunk.  Evil woman.  We met up with them again at the panther display.  
It was mid-afternoon and about 85 degrees and most of the animals slow WAY down during this part of the day.  We were looking at the panther, who was napping, when the 3 yr-old walked up.  Just as he arrived, the panther stood up and walked off to get a drink of water.  Again, the little boy was so excited.  His mom blindly pushed the stroller up while staring at her cellphone as the boy shouted “Look Mom, he can walk!”  I could have punched this kid’s mom when she glanced up and said to him “Duh!  Of course he can walk he has legs doesn’t he?”  Hateful, horrible woman.  I made sure she saw me glaring at her for a long time before we moved on.  On our way past her, Ian sarcastically said “Who knew it was ‘Bring your stupid kid to the zoo’ day?”  I was proud of him.  

OK – off to the beach with Ian tomorrow.  Send lots of writing vibes my way – I have an idea, I have the time, I have no excuse for not writing something.   

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