PMS House … version X.0

Okay, it’s been a while since the XX House series ran, but I think PMS House is kind of timeless.  Feel free to skip this if you do not share my sentiments.
(Me, in the closet talking to the secret camera – reading my list of complaints)  
1) Yeah, yeah, yeah, save water and all of that.  Honestly, I don’t care.  Flush the toilet every time you use it, no matter what you use it for.  Yikes, with five of you peeing into the same pot all day????? Just no.  I’ll dig an outhouse if you want.  (Note to self, rant about raising and lowering the seat and peeing on target NOT on toilet next session.)
2) Believe it or not, I will notice the throw pillow you tossed over the nasty crumbly mess of something you shouldn’t have been eating on the couch anyway.  Thanks for the opportunity to catch up on my crumb catching skills. I was kind of bored anyway. 
3) If it doesn’t fit, for heaven’s sake put it in the Goodwill box don’t just keep tossing it into the hamper for me to wash.  
4) Addendum to #3:  Are you there, God? It’s me, Amy.  Any hints on when they’ll stop growing?  Dan’s grown nearly 2″ this summer and Tim and Ian have grown even more.  What’s up with that? How am I supposed to buy jeans if they just keep growing and growing and growing?  If you can’t get back to me on the older boys, I understand, but I could sure use some hints with Andy.  He’s already FAR taller and bigger than his brothers were at 11.  Just saying.  At a certain point, it’s not funny.
5) HAH!  I’ll show you, phone battery wasting family.  Yes, we still have a land line.  We’re mean.  Until the boys can pay for their own phone, they share my cell phone or the house phone.  You cannot imagine how horrified some of their friends are when they call and I answer.  “What do you mean X doesn’t have his own number????”  Ahh and still they manage to have friends and stay in contact with them.  
Until tonight, the house phone has been the standard Costco two unit wireless model.  But today I could not answer my phone.  Why, you ask? Because the people who mostly get phone calls leave the phones flopped everywhere but on the charger.  My options today were to spend $50 on batteries (if I could find them – old phone), spend $100 on a new 2 unit wireless thingie or spend $8 on a stick to the wall model with a (are you sitting?) cord attached to the wall.  Guess which option I picked?  The kids are horrified and fascinated.  I have new found counter space in the kitchen.  Hmmmm . . . maybe they’ll rediscover the art of doodling while talking on the phone????? I feel so “Mad Men.”
Okay, I’m out of olives.  Time for bed.  Have a great Thursday.

5 thoughts on “PMS House … version X.0

  1. We are not supposed to have cordless phones here (they mess with the Japanese communication or something)… Everyone has them anyway! Trying to find an old cord in the wall phone is like trying to find an Atari!

    OH, and I feel you on the growing. I am forced to buy Christopher's jeans online! $50 a PAIR! He wears a 29×34.

    As for the toilets.. Some day we will have the boys condo and the girls..

  2. Matt grew so fast as a kid! He was 6 feet tall and wore a size 13 shoe when he was 12 years old. Man. Lucky for him, his show size has stayed about the same since then.

    My kids got a cell phone, attached to our plan, when they started dual enrollment. I wanted them to be able to stay in touch. It worked out well for us. We actually don't have a land line at our house at all, except for hubby's office. 'Course, my kids are grown-ups now.

  3. I miss my landline DEARLY. It's been 5 years without one (since we moved into the new house) and I HATE being tied to my cell. I am upstairs, it's ringing downstairs in my purse. I never make it in time. The hubby says “Just carry it with you at all times.” Uh, no. Now many pajamas does one own with pockets?

    There are times when I am out & want to speak with *anyone* in the house, I don't care who. Neither the hubby or the son answer their cells. If we had a house phone, everyone could hear it and even the little gal could get it.

    I am seriously going to get a basic no-long distance land line.

  4. We'll never give up our corded land line. We figure there's nothing that needs to be said on a phone that everyone else in the house can't hear. (of course mine are only 7 and 11)

    I used your point about cell phone and a pic of your boys a few posts down to “school” my 11 yo. You helped me prove to him that not every kid has a cell phone and that other kids have to get a job and pay for it if they want it. Thanks for that! lol

  5. Alexander will be getting a minimalistic, pay as you go, no data, no internet, no pictures just a simple phone and texting cell phone in the next few months.

    Mainly because he will be leaving his middle school and crossing the street to go to swim practice. I possibly will be seeking employment (I know I have been saying that for 3 years). He also might be coming home to an empty house (where we got rid of our land line because we too could never answer our always dead phone) on occasion. I will feel better with him having a phone from after school to when I finally see him at 6:30pm. Mainly, if they cancel swim, he can contact us. I wouldn't do this if the situation was going to be different. The cell phone will live in his swim back pack and not in his school back pack. The swim bag is required to go behind the reception desk because it isn't mesh or clear vinyl (also he wouldn't want to lug it around all day anyway in addition to his book bag).

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