Okay, it’s been a while since the XX House series ran, but I think PMS House is kind of timeless. Feel free to skip this if you do not share my sentiments.
(Me, in the closet talking to the secret camera – reading my list of complaints)
1) Yeah, yeah, yeah, save water and all of that. Honestly, I don’t care. Flush the toilet every time you use it, no matter what you use it for. Yikes, with five of you peeing into the same pot all day????? Just no. I’ll dig an outhouse if you want. (Note to self, rant about raising and lowering the seat and peeing on target NOT on toilet next session.)
2) Believe it or not, I will notice the throw pillow you tossed over the nasty crumbly mess of something you shouldn’t have been eating on the couch anyway. Thanks for the opportunity to catch up on my crumb catching skills. I was kind of bored anyway.
3) If it doesn’t fit, for heaven’s sake put it in the Goodwill box don’t just keep tossing it into the hamper for me to wash.
4) Addendum to #3: Are you there, God? It’s me, Amy. Any hints on when they’ll stop growing? Dan’s grown nearly 2″ this summer and Tim and Ian have grown even more. What’s up with that? How am I supposed to buy jeans if they just keep growing and growing and growing? If you can’t get back to me on the older boys, I understand, but I could sure use some hints with Andy. He’s already FAR taller and bigger than his brothers were at 11. Just saying. At a certain point, it’s not funny.
5) HAH! I’ll show you, phone battery wasting family. Yes, we still have a land line. We’re mean. Until the boys can pay for their own phone, they share my cell phone or the house phone. You cannot imagine how horrified some of their friends are when they call and I answer. “What do you mean X doesn’t have his own number????” Ahh and still they manage to have friends and stay in contact with them.
Until tonight, the house phone has been the standard Costco two unit wireless model. But today I could not answer my phone. Why, you ask? Because the people who mostly get phone calls leave the phones flopped everywhere but on the charger. My options today were to spend $50 on batteries (if I could find them – old phone), spend $100 on a new 2 unit wireless thingie or spend $8 on a stick to the wall model with a (are you sitting?) cord attached to the wall. Guess which option I picked? The kids are horrified and fascinated. I have new found counter space in the kitchen. Hmmmm . . . maybe they’ll rediscover the art of doodling while talking on the phone????? I feel so “Mad Men.”
Okay, I’m out of olives. Time for bed. Have a great Thursday.