That dang self-esteem!

You read and hear so much about kids and (tiresome) adults with low self-esteem.  As a not-so-much-touchy-feely-squealy mom, I have spent nights trying to fall asleep wondering if I should have praised a poop-painting or yelled “Bravo” when one of my boys picked up his own toys.  I did not do those things. I am one of those moms with pretty high expectations and, as my kid, you have to earn praise.
Now, they’re older.  I am constantly stunned at my boys’ bravery.  They will head into any situation, shake hands and talk to the person in charge.  They will do the same in unknown social situations.  I could no sooner have done this at their age (hell, I have to spend a day building up my courage to do it at MY age) than I could have given myself Marcia Brady hair!  And, I am proud and amazed at them.  I’m also happy to see them reaping the rewards from this ability/skill/personality trait (what is it?).  
That said, Mike and I have often talked about Danny.  Danny is unlike anyone I’ve ever known – he’s absolutely fearless. He’s not fearless in a stoopid (I can jump off of the roof and land on one arm) way. He is just supremely confident in his own abilities. He never doubts himself, even when he knows he doesn’t know all he needs to know.  And, thus far, he’s been incredibly successful without becoming a total jerk (big part of what Mike and I talk about – no one likes a fearless jerk).  He is just Danny.  
Today around lunch time he called me sounding happy.  I asked what was up.  He told me he “debuts” on April 4.  “HUH????” was my response.  Turns out, Dan decided at some point after the Christmas break that it would be cool to be able to say that he’d “played” in a club.  Dan arranged an audition at a local night club.  He showed up with his guitar and his voice and they’re going to let him play a few songs on April 4.  That he thought this and then did this blows my mind.  Guitar-wise, Dan is okay.  Singing?  Ummm . . . no. He is not a singer and I’m hoping that’s why they put him on on a Wednesday night.  
And still, Dan met his goal. He said he only wants to play one night. On April 5 and from there ever after he can say he played in a club while he was in college.  
I’ll have to keep this in mind the next time I am worried or afraid to try something new. 

3 thoughts on “That dang self-esteem!

  1. That is so awesome.

    In 2010, Jake comes up to me and says “Oh, by the way, I need a ride on October xx to Deland.” “Why?” I am performing at the 2010 Deland Original Music Festival on stage 10 at 7 p.m.”


    It was awesome! He did the 2011 one too.

    Where do they get the gumption?! I *wish* I had been as brave as he is. I want to have been in drama, choir, academic team, etc.

  2. There are those who say that it's the kids who did NOT hear all of the touchy-feely-squealy “Bravo”s that end up being braver and more willing to try new things. They don't have to worry about protecting their image as a child prodigy, so they're less afraid of failure. Carolyn Dweck wrote a book on the subject entitled Mindset.

    You've been going along with the latest research before it was even published! Such a trendsetter!

    Very cool about Dan, by the way.

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