Oh &*(#*&$@*(@$^ Christmas Tree!

Yes, you read that right.  That was me cursing loudly in my head.  I so wish I were good at cursing – some nights it would be fun to just let it all out. I have some friends who are excellent at stringing together bad words. I never got the hang of it.  Oh well, I thought bad things really loudly and felt a little better.  

I am pretty sure that it’s all Danny’s fault. He called the other night and I mentioned the new “fake” tree we bought and returned because the prewired lights did not light.  Then, I told him about his father’s adventures in finding a new tree that would work.  I was really hoping for a “slim” tree as space is so limited here.  It was not meant to be.  As I was talking, Danny interrupted me and said, “But, Mom, I am certain there is a brand new tree up in  the attic.  I saw it when I was getting my winter stuff down over fall break.”  I thought and thought and could not remember picking up a new Christmas tree.  I asked Danny to keep it quiet for now until I could check it out.  As a rule, I avoid the attic at all costs.  

Now,  I already had the second new tree set up in the living room with additional lights. We had it up waiting for Dan to come home for break before we decorated it.  But, Danny’s words echoed in my head.  Finally, keeping to my rule of avoiding the attic, I sent Andy up.  Yep.  New tree.  In a new box. Where the heck did this thing come from? Andy and Tim pulled the tree out of the attic.  I left it where Mike would see it in the morning.  

We went most of the day and I never heard a word from Mike.  Finally, I called him.  He doesn’t remember buying the attic tree either? It’s not like we’re big shoppers.  We both agreed we would most likely remember picking up something as a large as a Christmas tree.  But, there it was in the middle of the kitchen.  When Mike got home we talked.  Well, mostly Mike talked because he’s a rational adult. The “new” attic tree, wherever it came from, was paid for and forgotten.  The new, pretty, slim tree was nearly $150 we could put to use in so many other places.  

::::sigh:::: I spent last night, unlighting the prelit tree (I like lots and lots of lights) and packing it back up in to the box for Mike to return.  Then, I opened the attic tree box.  Yep.  Brand new fake tree.  From 1960 or whatever year it was that they made the first fake trees.  There were line workers in a Chinese factory somewhere who were laughing very hard at me last night.  All I can think is that this tree was super-duper cheap.  Four hours later, after attaching every single branch on every single one of ten layers, we had a new tree.  

It takes up the whole room and I’m trying to get excited about going in to put the lights on right now. We have a weird assortment of lights so it should be interesting.  I am sure once I add 500 or so lights, all of the ornaments (each of the boys has at least 20 of their own) and then the tinsel which I hate but love too much to not use, it will look fine.  Right now, I kind of hate this tree.  I want the pretty, skinny tree.  But, I also like having the $150 credit to our account this time of year (hell, any time of year).  Can’t I have both? 

I’m going in.  Cross your fingers the extension cords do their job!

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