A New Year’s Resolution . . .

I know it’s early for New Year’s Resolutions, but I can guarantee you’ve never read one from me on this blog before. I hate New Year’s Resolutions, at least for myself.  I know they work for some people. But, I’m going to give it a shot this year.  My goal? To stop being such a wimp.

Sunday and Monday night were rough nights with Scout. You can see in the picture that her jaw is swollen and she could not close her mouth.  She was not able to swallow anything and, thus, got none of the new antibiotics.  She paced and breathed and paced and I paced with her.  I called the vet in the morning.  The fact that he was only in for a few hours that morning and was out of the office for the rest of they day is the biggest downside to patronizing a practice with only one doctor.  (Not that we’ve ever needed a vet so quickly, but I’ve been ‘taking notes’ all day.)  The office referred me to their “back up” practice.  They were sympathetic, but solidly booked.  They referred me to yet another practice. 

Now, I am not the type to panic with my kids, my husband or myself and definitely not with my pets.  Yes, Scout and Cally are members of our family.  Yes, I will do everything I can to keep them healthy and happy – within reason.  The third practice was very nice over the phone and told me to bring Scout in as soon as I was able.   Scout looked awful and her breathing was downright terrifying.  Dan and Tim lifted Scout to the car.  She’s only about 50 lbs and I was able to carry her into the new vet’s office.  Scout stood nicely, breathing loudly and looking sad while I filled out paperwork. 

We were seen quickly.  A vet who I would bet money was not ten years older than Danny (guess I’m going to have to get used to that, huh?) came in.  She was a lovely young woman and she listened as I explained the whole situation.  Then, like I think most doctors do, she insisted on confirming our “real” vet’s findings by x-raying Scout’s head.  I warned her to use a muzzle.  Scout is sad looking, but she gets mean if she doesn’t know where I am.  Sure enough, Scout bit the vet.  Then they sedated Scout.  Just what every 15-year-old dog needs, right? $300++ we left, Scout did get a steroid shot and her breathing eased a bit Tuesday night. RESOLUTION? I will never allow myself to be bullied by a “kid” who wants to make me feel like I’m asking to kill a puppy so I can get a new puppy.  I’m so disgusted that I did not stand up for Scout.

This morning I called our “real” vet. I’m not really a crier, but I started crying.  What a loon.  I cannot say enough about this office.  They were so kind.  I brought Scout in around 5:45, just as the practice was closing.  Sadly, there was a family with an Australian Shepard who looked to be in the same rough shape as Scout.  My eyes met the “mom’s” eyes and we all burst into tears. We hugged and never exchanged a word. What can you say?

We were taken to a room quickly.  The nurse who has always helped us during routine visits brought in a lovely pink blanket and helped me get Scout ready.  The doctor came in and he did not even make it half way through the shot and Scout was gone.  She was ready to go and she looked so peaceful and happy.  I am so glad I stayed with her. The vet and the staff all had tears dripping down their faces as we wrapped Scout up for me to bring  her home.  

While I was gone, Mike and the boys had dug a grave in a shady, quiet part of our backyard.  We buried Scout and we cried together.  We don’t have a marker yet, so Mike put some stones on top of Scout’s grave and we all just stood there quietly, not willing to leave her. After a while, goofy Cally wandered over, curious.  She sniffed around and then stepped around the stones and plopped down right over Scout.  Cally, the dog who is never still, laid there for over half an hour just looking around serenely and occasionally licking the stone in front of her.  It was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen.  

During the week, our washer also died.  Mike and the boys were restless and sad.  They went out to buy a new one – you know because we have $$$ just flying around the house.  (Gah!) I called my neighbor, she who has watched Scout when we’ve had to be gone, she who made a roast beef for Scout because Scout had stopped eating.  I cannot say enough about having good neighbors.  She cried and came over and cried some more with me.  I kind of thought when I got home I would want to be alone, but I’m so glad she was free.  

Photobucket  Scout was the best dog ever. I am happy that she’s at peace now.  I’m going to miss her terribly.  It’s only been a few hours and I am already realizing how much I talked to her as she followed me around the house. We put some Christmas lights around her grave so she won’t be in the dark for now.  (I know, that’s stupid, but it makes me feel better.) 

Goodbye Scout.  We love you and will always miss you.

11 thoughts on “A New Year’s Resolution . . .

  1. Am, I'm so so sorry. I'm sitting crying my eyes out for Scout(you), for Edgar(Julie),& for Max … I felt crazy for a few weeks, calling Max, looking for him, panicking that I forgot to feed him dinner. So if you're crazy, I'm in good company. I'm glad that she's at peace now. Love you.

  2. Am, I'm so so sorry. I'm sitting crying my eyes out for Scout(you), for Edgar(Julie),& for Max … I felt crazy for a few weeks, calling Max, looking for him, panicking that I forgot to feed him dinner. So if you're crazy, I'm in good company. I'm glad that she's at peace now. Love you.

  3. Oh. I am just so sorry. When I realized where the post was heading I started crying. So so sorry. & the lights around the grave are awesome.

  4. Gah…….:*( I like the Christmas lights gesture; it puts some sweetness into a sad situation. I'm sorry, Amy (and Julie and Jen) for the loss of these great pets.

  5. I am just now catching up on your posts and wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I have never met you or Scout, but bawled in sympathy for you anyway. (((Hugs)))

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