Shortly after Ian and Tim were born, I was fortunate enough to meet another mom who lived around the corner. Like me, she was young and broke and her husband worked horrific hours. Also, like me she had another boy just shy of two years older than her twins. We became fast friends.
We used to talk our way (on phones still attached to the wall, no less) through scary episodes of the X-Files. We tried a few years in a row to make “EASY GIFTS GRANDPARENTS LOVE!” and ended each session with six filthy boys and us making comments about the editors at Family Fun smoking crack. We used to laugh so much.
For ten years we were best friends. We were sharing the same life in so many ways. We liked bad television, weird books and just goofing around. The kids got older. They did not get along so well, so Tracy and I tried to meet on our own. It’s easier to just drag kids with you. She went back to college and earned her teacher’s degree. I chose the homeschool path. Around the same time, we both moved to opposite sides of Orlando.
Slowly we were in touch less and less and then not at all for the past six years or so. I found out today that Tracy, 45, took her own life this past Saturday. I had always hoped we would reconnect once we got rid of the kids, I was wrong. I hate myself for not staying in touch. I don’t know what was going on in her life that made her feel that suicide was her only option. But, I am beyond sad for her, for her family, for her boys, for her students/. What a loss.
There is a service tomorrow afternoon. It’s just surreal. Say a prayer or think a good thought or something for Tracy and her family.
I love this picture. It’s Tracy’s three boys and my older three boys at Disney. What you don’t see is that I had Andy in a stroller and Tracy was in the bathroom. We laughed all day at the looks people would give either one of us if just one of us was standing with all six boys – the same size, roughly the same age and this random bald baby. We played that game all day!
I can’t believe she’s just gone now.