An open letter to HGTV . . .

2175 cs 1Yeah, it’s been on my mind long enough that I need to type this out. I think I’ll just make a little list.

  • Hi, HGTV. Let’s start off by saying I love your channel and I watch way too much of it. And, I watched WAY too much of it while we were getting our house ready to sell (and I think I owe the Property Brothers about $20,000 for help with staging) so I get the value of your channel.
  • We’re in a new house now. I would like some answers.
    • Who are the people who are getting loans that include money for “Your guysez all in budget?” What is the vetting process for getting a loan that includes bazillions of dollars in remodeling? I’m sure if I had Chip/Joanna Gaines or the other folks on your channel my bank might agree. But, just me saying “Oh yeah, we’re going to take out some walls and move all the duct work and plumbing . . .” I actually asked about this when we were house-hunting and the nice bank lady just smiled and said it was a difficult process.
    • A nurse and a firefighter in a HUGE city decided to buy a house. What am I missing? Two people (maybe in their late 20’s/early 30’s) qualify for an $800,000 mortgage? Same question for Flip or Flop.  What the heck is going on in California where an 1100 sq. ft. house sells for over $500K?  How is that ever a good deal? I realize there are regional differences but these seem extreme yet also seem to be the norm on HGTV.
  • Yer killing me with the open concept. Yes, it’s pretty on television. It’s probably nice when your kids are wee. But, the kids grow and most people I know reach a point where they want to be AWAY from their kids at certain points of the day. It’s nice to have a separate space (on the same floor) where mom can do her own thing.  (We don’t all have basements.) And, while the concept of a teen space is nice – they’re teenagers. They WILL be in the kitchen. Period. ALWAYS. I can just picture in ten years people putting up walls again.
  • Cords? Where are the cords? I love the finished spaces and I get the “staged” thing but I would love to see a real life working version of some of these houses. Phones, computers, speakers, televisions, camera . . . I would love to see a 6-Months-Later show for just about all of your shows – no touch up, nothing. Just show up with cameras and see how things are going.
  • Finally, what is the deal with master bathrooms? Do two normal-sized people really need a spa in which to get ready every morning? What the heck are they doing in there? It’s great if you can afford it but, to make it seem like the norm is a little crazy.

Okay, that’s a start. I have not even touched on House Hunters, People Buying Islands and People Buying Cabins/Beach Houses. I’ll just say that if I could buy a house on the beach (a second house, no less) I’d be happy without a gourmet kitchen, master spa or walk in closet.  The walk-in closet at the beach kills me. Who brings clothes to the beach?

No point to this other than to get it out of my head. I’ll keep watching and bitching.

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