Okay, I googled for synonyms but “milestone” seems to be the word I want. The past couple of years have been kind of whirlwind – good and bad. So much has changed and so much keeps changing. Again, good and bad. Having grown up kids makes blogging harder. Their stories affect my life but they aren’t my stories to tell. And, so, I’m stuck, quite often lately, about what to blog about. As I’ve said before, I use this blog as a record of things in my life. If you have been along on this journey (since 2006!) THANKS.
Soooo . . . back to milestones. Ian will graduate from Florida State on May 6 with degrees in Literature and Economics. He’s busy researching cities he’d like to live and work in as a grown up. (Nashville, Minneapolis, Baltimore are on the list) This afternoon, I was in Target. I crossed paths with a woman who had a baby in the cart and who was shouting for her 3-year-old-ish son, Murphy, to get-back-here-this-instant. Flash back to when we first moved into our last house. Ian was four? He introduced himself to all the kids in the neighborhood as “Murphy.” For months, neighbors asked me if I was Murphy’s mom and I had no clue. Murphy is all grown up now and . . . milestone.
This morning, Andy and I helped Tim move into an apartment close to UCF. His own apartment. Well, his own apartment with his lovely friend-that-is-a-girl who I won’t name as I think we (as a family – okay, maybe just me – a friend recently informed me that I might be a bit intimidating – not true) still scare her a bit. Tim, after two years on his own, has been living here the past year. I love Tim. I think I will love him more now that I don’t have to worry about what time he’s coming home, waking up mad every morning at the coffee/breakfast mess and all the other stuff that pisses off parents of adult children living at home. So we moved Tim today. There were delays. I was grumpy about wasted time. I moved on to the rest of my day feeling happy for Tim and for me.
I didn’t get home until after 7 pm. Like many of you, my first goal was to get out of my grown up clothes and put on something comfy and loose – for me, this is always my overalls. Before heading back downstairs, I stopped in Tim’s nearly empty room to assess the damage. I was not prepared when I opened the closet and saw Tim’s two beyond-loved teddy bears flopped forlornly on the floor. Sucker punch! Tim and the bears ALWAYS stay together. I scooped up the bears and cried. Not a lot – I’m not a crier. But, wow. Tim is grown up too. I’ll keep the bears for the day when Tim has his own kids. But . . . the bears. Milestone.
These are the things most on my mind. I won’t lie and say it all flashes by in a minute. It doesn’t – I think you feel every age in real time the entire time your kids are growing up. What I find scary/fascinating is how quickly the things that made you crazy cease to even be on your radar. For me, that’s why I love having this blog. I wish there had been internet sooner. It’s a way for me to keep track of things in real time and have access to my real-time thinking years later. It’s fun to look back at my worked-up self and try hard to remember WHY whatever it was was such a big deal.
My goal is to catch up on all that has been going on and to stay caught up over the next couple of weeks. Mostly for myself but you’re more than welcome to come along. 😉