Tuesday, July 8, 2008
I love when I actually accomplish what I set out to do. Usually, something happens and my plans get backed up and I get off track. Fortunately, nothing I do involves life/death kind of situations. Most of the angst is in my head. But, when a plan does come together, it’s such a good feeling.
Since the beginning of May we have: completely ripped out and replaced the bathroom in our bedroom; repainted bathroom, repainted all common living areas of the house; repainted all the trim and doors; ripped out old flooring in the entire house and refinished the floors; redone the kitchen; added a funky backsplash; added quotes to all the walls and put it all back together again. AND we’re still married and reasonably civil to each other. No children were lost in the process and the boys gained some valuable skills (which they won’t appreciate for at least another 15 years or so). Flip us all a fish. I’m so happy to have this chapter mostly behind us.
But, before I let it go completely, I’ll share the quotes I’ve written on the walls (since none of you ever bother to visit me anymore). In case you’re new here, I’m weird and my house reflects that. I like to laugh. I like for the people in my house to laugh and have fun. That’s my goal with the quotes. I get such a kick when new people come over and read the walls. It’s fun to see what different people laugh at. And, it’s a little worrisome when a rare visitor doesn’t crack even the slightest smile. Anyway, for you quote collectors:
Dining area quotes:
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. (GK Chesterton) – this is just funny.
If the Flintstones have taught us anything, it’s that pelicans can be used to mix cement. (Homer Simpson) – in case you’ve been wondering, like me, what pelicans are good for.
Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. (doesn’t everyone say this?)
I am not a glutton – I am a food explorer. (Erma Bombeck) – I heart Erma.
Cogito ergo sum. (Descartes) Latin for “I think therefore I am.”
If I had a million dollars, I’d buy you a monkey. (Bare Naked Ladies) – I’ve used this one before, but I still love it.
I’m not much, but I’m all I think about. (My friend, Julie.) – Truer words were never spoken. Go ahead, think about it.
It takes no more time to see the good side of life than the bad. (Jimmy Buffet) I agee with this wholeheartedly, despite what you might read here.
Nothing says “holdiay” like a cheese log. (Ellen Degeneres) I adore Ellen and everything she says makes me smile.
My favorite animal is steak. (Fran Lebowitz) In my best Homer Simpson voice, Mmmmmm steakkkkk.
Now, let’s move to the living room. When you first walk into the house, you see our giant clock and above it
“There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.” (The Wizard of Oz) – I tried something different, but, strangely, Danny was upset about it, so I changed it back.
Moving clockwise through the room:
Spelling is a lossed art. (no clue, I just thought it was funny)
All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke)
Stultus est sicut stultus facit. (Forrest Gump) Latin for “Stupid is as stupid does.”
Thought is free. (Shakespeare – the Tempest)
You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and doggone it, people like you. (Stuart Smalley)
No good deed goes unpunished. (Wicked)
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true… (Monty Python – Spamalot)
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. (Mark Twain – paraphrased) –
This one is for me. I live with a man who eats more than five servings of fruits and vegetables everyday, exercises religiously, gets enough sleep, likes other people and in general does everything I don’t do. I’m hoping if I see this quote enough times a day it will remind me how stupid it is to bitch about someone else’s good habits.
Everything’s OK until it isn’t. (random surfer) – the kids and I overheard this and all said at once “We have to put that on a wall!” Yes, they’ve been throroughly corrupted.
How much easier it is to be critical than correct. (Benjamin Disraeli)
When you come to a fork in the road, take it. (Yogi Berra)
You can speak your mind, but not on my time. (Billy Joel) – the timing just seemed right for this. I feel this way and the older boys also feel this way from their own direction.
Amo. Amas. Amat. (first Latin conjugation most people learn) Latin for: I love. You love. He/She/It Loves. Interestingly, you can do the whole conjugation to the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance. (Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant – go ahead, I’ll wait while you form a conga line – pronounce it however you like, it’s a dead language, no one will correct you – pass the margaritas!)
Be careful his bowtie is really a camera. (Paul Simon) – I have always loved the Simon and Garfunkel song “America” and this line sums up how I tend to view the world. If it gets boring, I make stuff up.
Happy is the house that shelters a friend. (anon) – it’s kind of oogy, but it’s true.
Doh! (Homer Simpson)
All of the following is above my computer:
Again, last night I dreamed the dream called “Laundry.” (James Merrill) This is a real poem. It’s not the one I would write about laundry, but it’s pretty good.
A boy’s best friend is his mother. (the movie, Psycho) – I have to say, this cracked me up beyond reason.
Semper Fidelis. (Marines) Always Faithful. It applies to pretty much everything, doesn’t it?
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